I failed!
:)
Draco Layer Four: The Anagogic or Mystical Sense
9 months ago
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Abscence of thought
Having been reminded I hadn't posted any new blogs in awhile, I was also reminded of my recent state of general ennui. Is this due to the latest economic crisis, or maybe all the old crises of late? Or just the getting back to work on Friday Night Lights--that for all the time I have off in between episodes, I feel like I do 'nothing' but work. But I don't. I'm taking naps as often as I can, I'm off to the barn for vaulting or conditioning, or like tomorrow, for a good old fashioned ride, I'm hanging out with friends , with Paka.
As I said, I'm doing nothing.
Maybe I'm in a mid-life existential crisis of not having the youthful enthusiasm of everything shining of newness, but I hope it's more due to a need to recharge, like a depleted aquifer it takes some time. Recently I was reading some study (one of those "you needed a study to find this out?") the boredom, or the state of becoming bored, was necessary for the creative process. Staring at the walls is good for the recharge. Playing with my dog's paws (I love to kind of just hold her hand--she's used to this and she will, especially on the drive home from the barn, will put her paw on my hand, like holding my hand) will fascinate me for hours.
Maybe it's feeling the internet/iPhone fatigue of continual contact and stimulation. Again, I return to the appeal of being out for hours with the horses. I don't check my phone, and my biggest concern of late has been keeping Paka away from the dead deer that have been snagged on the neighbor's new fence. And falling. My latest and greatest fall was from doing a practice safe roll off the barrel. Actually, I'm not really concerned about falling.
Or failing. I'm in week five of an intro to improv class at the Hideout in Austin. The first week we learned how to take a glorious bow and say "I failed!" while the rest of the class claps furiously. It's the most empowering gesture you can imagine. Now when we take a spill in vaulting, we all applaud and raise our hands in triumph. We tried, and maybe failed. The adults are better at it than the kids, for the record.
I think I've written that before... oh well. Like I said, I'm recharging. I'm in reruns.
As I said, I'm doing nothing.
Maybe I'm in a mid-life existential crisis of not having the youthful enthusiasm of everything shining of newness, but I hope it's more due to a need to recharge, like a depleted aquifer it takes some time. Recently I was reading some study (one of those "you needed a study to find this out?") the boredom, or the state of becoming bored, was necessary for the creative process. Staring at the walls is good for the recharge. Playing with my dog's paws (I love to kind of just hold her hand--she's used to this and she will, especially on the drive home from the barn, will put her paw on my hand, like holding my hand) will fascinate me for hours.
Maybe it's feeling the internet/iPhone fatigue of continual contact and stimulation. Again, I return to the appeal of being out for hours with the horses. I don't check my phone, and my biggest concern of late has been keeping Paka away from the dead deer that have been snagged on the neighbor's new fence. And falling. My latest and greatest fall was from doing a practice safe roll off the barrel. Actually, I'm not really concerned about falling.
Or failing. I'm in week five of an intro to improv class at the Hideout in Austin. The first week we learned how to take a glorious bow and say "I failed!" while the rest of the class claps furiously. It's the most empowering gesture you can imagine. Now when we take a spill in vaulting, we all applaud and raise our hands in triumph. We tried, and maybe failed. The adults are better at it than the kids, for the record.
I think I've written that before... oh well. Like I said, I'm recharging. I'm in reruns.
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